Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
