so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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