Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
