I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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