How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
