wrigley field is MILF paradise
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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