I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
