I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
