Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
