What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
so much tequila, so little girl.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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