She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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