I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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