He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
