nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
