I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
