Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
