just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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