IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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