is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
