The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
