What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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