Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
