glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
