I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
