Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
