Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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