They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
