the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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