the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
