The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
