sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
