just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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