I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
