these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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