We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
