There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
