ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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