I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
