My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
