My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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