We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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