whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
