you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Boobs are out for the taking
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
