No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
