why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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