When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
nutella sex= disaster
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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