Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
