I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
