I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
