Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
we're making bets on your personal life
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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