see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
