God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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