so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
