And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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