Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
