Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
