Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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