Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You took a bar mat shot.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
