Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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